Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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