Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
