did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
