You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
