talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
