Are we in a gay sports bar?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
