i need an iv and a liver transplant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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