I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
