This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need water and some morals
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