guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
