Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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