i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
