Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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