Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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