Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
