Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
