8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I died a long time ago.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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