i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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