$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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