At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
