Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
