we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
