I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
