you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
