is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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