bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
