Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
