i permit you to call me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
