so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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