im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dont even know how to be here
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
