this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
