I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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