The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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