Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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