there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
