I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
