Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
