Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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