last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
