plz talk dirty to me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
