Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
