Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
