Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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