i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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