im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
