I can feel you judging me through the phone.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
