I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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