Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i believe in u and ur pee
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