I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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