if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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